Worse Teammate: Ray Lewis or Rudy?

26 Jan

I could care less about the Super Bowl this year, and if I wasn’t an NFL fan; I would be glad to get away from this “Harbowl” but alas, I must watch.

Nonetheless if there is one good thing about this Super Bowl it’s the fact that Ray Lewis will be playing in his last game.  Nothing makes me smile more this week than knowing that I can officially count down until he is making awful pregame predictions on ESPN.  I can see it already though, Ray Lewis making “inspirational” speeches to tie it in to some awful media contrived story line.

“NOW LET ME TELL YOU TIM TEBOW.  NO ONE LIKES YOU RIGHT NOW.  HELL, I HATE YOU.  BUT GOD TOLD ME TO LIKE YOU SO RAY AND GOD BLESS YOU.  NOW TAKE THAT BALL AND….:proceeds to do pregame dance…finishes: PRAISE THE LORD”

As of right now, there is no more annoying person in the news than Ray Lewis.  Yes, he’s worse than Lance Armstrong, Manti Te’o, Lennay Kekua, John Boehner, Donald Trump, Alex Jones and Piers Morgan combined.  

I like to pride myself on my sports fanhood and I can’t for the life of me think of someone I would want to least have in my locker room than Ray Lewis.  While this makes me seem like a bitter contrarian, can you really give me one reason why he’s a good presence?  Tell me what a quickly aging and injured linebacker does for a team?  Has a pregame dance ever won a game for someone?  Have you ever been inspired by a guy who finds the nearest camera and starts yelling Bible verses like they are states Howard Dean needs to win?  

I must confess, I’m the bare minimum of a collegiate athlete in its broadest definition.  I run D2 cross country & track and I am more than aware of its popularity compared to, I don’t know, every sport not named polo.  Yet, being on a team makes you realize which personalities are just awful to be around.

Ray Lewis is one of them.  Ray Lewis is the senior on a team who has mailed it in except for when the coach is around or a potential interviewer.  One moment they will be talking about how they haven’t lifted in a week because CIROC CIROC CIROC and then the moment the team gets yelled at, they make a speech to tell YOU how you are ruining the integrity of a team.  Ray Lewis is also the guy who has every accomplishment in the book (Super Bowl ring, multiple All-Pro honors, likely first-ballot HOF’er, dropped charges) and you can’t say anything about them even though they are insufferable to be around.  

However, you then have to read countless puff pieces about them and how they “BRING GOOSEBUMPS” because of their very public “love of the game”.  You have to see them miss easy tackles but get a free pass because “man, you can tell it just really kills him to miss that!”.  Even when Ray Lewis gets owned by younger players, he’s still the better man.  He won’t let you forget that either.

But when thinking about people who would be awful to be around, Rudy has to be up there.  Yes, Rudy from Notre Dame and the same guy who had the movie after him that also made me tear up.  The story is nice and all, even if it was completely and utterly dismantled by Hollywood execs, but does anyone really want to be teammates with Rudy?

Anyone that played a sport also know that there is no one worse who plays with a permanent chip on their shoulder.  You know the guy who SLAYS the warm-up and sprints every drill because “well golly, I GOT HEART”.  You can’t crap on the guy in public either because then you just look like the overprivileged first-stringer who doesn’t UNDERSTAND what its like to be short, fat, and slow and play against the best athletes in the D1 football.  The story of Rudy is for people who don’t like sports or think that Notre Dame football is some higher power than any other corrupt, tasteless D1 program.  

I hope the 49ers win for the simple sake of seeing Ray Lewis not go out with a bang.  I want to see Frank Gore truck him at the 1 yardline for the go-ahead score.  I want Randy Moss to do his lame pre-game dance after burning Ed Reed for a TD.  I want Colin Kaepernick to purposely stay in-bounds to stiff-arm Ray Lewis and then praise God for allowing him to do that.

 

Please let it happen.

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