Jake’s HateSong: Radioactive by Imagine Dragons

15 Jul

This whole blog is just a collection of things I find funny, profound or interesting in any manner.  The AV Club has this segment they call “hatesong” in which they got some prominent, kinda, celebrity to talk about a song they absolutely hate.  Well, I decided that the same group of friends who talked about their top-20 favorite songs could write about one song they really hate.  So, without further ado; check out Jake’s hatesong.

Let’s tease one thing out right away: I’m a rock music fan. I have loved the genre since I was little kid. So naturally, I use 105.7 the X- the one rock station in my area- to get through long car rides in my rural, country-music loving, “yeehaw, trucks!” bullshit county.

The X plays a decent variety of standard rock music- you could have Blur and Pearl Jam one minute and Pop Evil and Seether the next. But every now and then, an unconventional “rock” song will fall through the cracks, against all odds, and make its way into regular rotation on the station. This happened badly a few years ago when the Kings of Leon released “Use Somebody,” a song that found heavy airplay on just about every single radio station in the world (pop, rock, you name it). I would hear this song every day and it slowly drove me insane.

Though, there came a point where “Use Somebody” finally started getting played infrequently on the X, and I could usually endure its sporadic spins by changing channels or by pounding my head into my dashboard until it was over. I had survived its fifteen minutes of universal radio fame.

Then whatever higher power is responsible for mainstream radio bent over and took a big piss on my face. That piss was “Radioactive” by the Imagine Dragons, a song that is equally inescapable, but also sounds like a bad Coldplay B-side mixed with dubstep elements.

Now, I don’t hate “Radioactive,” let’s make that clear. It’s instantly recognizable and is making the Imagine Dragons a lot of money. That’s what most musicians strive for nowadays, I suppose (at least by Ryan Seacrest’s standards, maybe).

The problem with “Radioactive” is that it is EVERYWHERE. It is actually in every single place, ever. Every radio station, party mix, movie trailer, video game trailer, tv trailer. I CAN’T FUCKING ESCAPE IT. I could spend a night in the house where Sharon Tate was murdered and, at some point, “Radioactive” would probably start playing in order to make things EDGY and COOL. It’s been force-fed to me to the point where I know every single word, and I don’t even want to. I have even memorized the exact way to forcefully inhale and exhale during the first verse when the singer sounds like he is having a steel-toe boot jammed into his rectum, only to have it gently pulled out.

The bottom line here- the Imagine Dragons need to release another single. Now. Please, please god. I can’t be subjected to that soft, acoustic cooing intro one more time. I hear it in my dreams. I feel it in my bon….NO. NO. NOOOOOO!!!!

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One Response to “Jake’s HateSong: Radioactive by Imagine Dragons”

  1. Will B August 13, 2013 at 1:10 am #

    So they released another single, finally. What do you think of it?

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