Your Major Sucks: Art

15 Sep

So I was bored and thought that everyone liked the post I once had called “Your Major Sucks” but since I’m back in college for one last go around; I realize how much I hate everyone here!  So I rewarded myself for getting an extra semester and debt and being stuck around the people I hate.  What a great idea :cries and puts on King of Queens reruns:.

Anyway, now that the Phillies suck and I am alone in my room; let’s go deeper into why your major sucks and yes this is ultrasimilar to the Why Your NFL Team Sucks pieces by Drew Magary from Deadspin.  So now that I got that out of the way, I’m going to try and do these nightly and yes I will do my own major as well so if you aren’t in this major, enjoy; if you are?  HAHAHAHA.  Keep in mind these are parodies and not literally you.


Typical Art Major:  Misunderstood, narcotic-poppin’, suburban white person who literally hates every single thing that’s ever been done.  Blames society for everything (‘cept local coffee shops which are WAY better than the name brands) and looks at philosophy majors and wishes it were them.  Non-conformist type who likely does nitrous in front of their local record store.

What They Say They’ll Do:  “Probably nothing.  My future is fill of despair and agony as I depend upon society’s norms to conform to my lifestyle and to be accepted.  I’ll likely end up unemployed with various addictions but that’s okay as society doesn’t tell me what to do.  I am my own [insert gender].”

Their Future Profession (According To Them):  Grateful Dead fan.

Their Likely Profession:  The type of person that buys weed for their kid and tokes up because of the bonding experience.

Why Art Sucks:  NEVER EVER EVER EVER complain about a lack of time to an art major unless you want to be lectured on why they haven’t slept since they accidentally OD’d on some pill.  They are convinced that they are misunderstood and that any other major is only participated by conformists.  Art majors are convinced that they are the only people that have suffered and that everything they do can’t possibly compare to anything they do.  Ever compliment an art major?  “Eh, I think this sucks.”

So you can’t complain to them nor compliment them.

Why Art Doesn’t Suck:  Its the only major that is more of a talent than acquired skill.  Sure they hone their art a bit better, but 90% of the art majors I know are ridiculously talented but since they are contrarian hipsters; they don’t often see it.  Also, art majors (the ones that DO make it) are usually fairly successful in life (though according to them, success is an emotion not a measuring stick) as long as they avoid PCP.

Typical Response To Why Their Major Sucks:  “:long sigh: Well, this is not a surprise.  Most people don’t understand anything that we ever do.  Its a shame but there was a time, back when humans were in a more agrarian society when we were appreciated for ourselves not for society’s belief upon who we are.  Also, you did sports at one point in life so you don’t get it.”


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