Your Major Sucks: Education

23 Sep

So I was bored and thought that everyone liked the post I once had called “Your Major Sucks” but since I’m back in college for one last go around; I realize how much I hate everyone here!  So I rewarded myself for getting an extra semester and debt and being stuck around the people I hate.  What a great idea :cries and puts on King of Queens reruns:.

Anyway, now that the Phillies suck and I am alone in my room; let’s go deeper into why your major sucks and yes this is ultrasimilar to the Why Your NFL Team Sucks pieces by Drew Magary from Deadspin.  So now that I got that out of the way, I’m going to try and do these nightly and yes I will do my own major as well so if you aren’t in this major, enjoy; if you are?  HAHAHAHA.  Keep in mind these are parodies and not literally you.


Typical Education Major:  Overachieving suburban white female that always complains that they are never organized, yet always are organized.  Often sucked up to teachers and even though they are nice in person; they think the world of themselves because they think they will all be Robin Williams in the Deaf Poets Society.  “I’ll transform Ricky from Detroit and turn him into W.E.B. Dubois!”.  

What They’ll Say They Do:  “Well, I’d like to work at my old high school and give back to the area that raised me so well.”

Their Future Profession (According To Them): 10x Teacher of the Year Winner.

Their Likely Profession:  Teacher, teacher’s aide or overworked substitute teacher.

Why Education Sucks:  You know those people that once they hit 30 or so, share every intimate detail about their child on Facebook?  They were all education majors.  Education majors hold themselves to a godlike status when it comes to every detail of their life.  “Well, I can’t go out too much; you know I’m an education major” like somehow that makes you a weak person for subjecting yourself to such affairs (note:  distance runners do the same).   I know there is an actual risk for them to do fun things, but there is almost nothing more pretentious (English majors are an example).  Also education majors are of the idea that they are the all-knowing ones when it comes to every crisis.

Why Education Doesn’t Suck:  One bad semester and you are basically kicked out of the major and have to respawn as a psych major.  Also, teaching idiots in a few years is a very noble thing to do especially when teachers are being vilified on an almost constant basis in the political world.  

Typical Response To Why Their Major Sucks:  “Ohhh and what is YOUR major again?”


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