Anonymous Scouting Report: Black Wide Receiver

16 Oct

So last night, after probably years of talking about it I posted up a spoof scouting report on a generic white QB prospect.  The simple fact of the matter is that hired pundits and scouts basically revert to same buzzwords when it comes to players.  Since there is a very little chance that these guys have actually broken down game film of all of these prospects (from Alabama to Akron to Slippery Rock); it seems only natural that you hear the same thing many times from different sources.  Except Colin Cowherd because he probably thinks Ricky Baker was going to end up like Booby Miles.

Well it turned out to be pretty popular but I couldn’t keep doing it and my good friend Jamil decided to add in his own scouting report of a black WR.  Jamil writes for StraightFresh.Net and you can follow him on Twitter @Jamil_SF.  To read my report on a white QB, peep this out.  

Name:  Cornell Green

Position:  Wide Receiver

College:  Louisiana State University

Height:  6’3, 215 Pounds

Positives: 

This kid is unique. When you talk about a wide receiver with blazing speed and great athletic ability, well you talk about almost everyone in the NFL, but this guy is definitely in that conversation too. – Mel Kiper, Jr.

Dynamic athlete. – Todd McShay

He’ll play the Arnold to your team’s Phillip Drummond in the passing game. – Rick Reilly

He catch with his hands, just like he should. Just like I would. Ask Keyshawn. – Cris Carter

He does the one thing that I like the most: run fast and jump high. Go get that ball, BOY! – Jon Gruden

Negatives:

He’s got a top 5 skill set, but you’re gonna have to GRIND him off the field and MAKE him work. He’s not gonna do it on his own. -Mike Mayock

One of the things I noticed about this draft and this guy Green specifically, is the importance of character when drafting. You don’t want a guy with a lot of baggage and off the field issues. – Ron Jaworski

Low motor. When you talk about X’s and O’s, yea this isn’t your guy. But if you need a player to go out there and snag that deep ball sometimes and run pretty fast and give your team a spark with a funky dance in the endzone, draft this guy. – Mark Schlereth

He’s in my opinion, just like many others, still a developmental player. Not very coachable, surprising pick if you ask me. – Bill Polian

He can’t execute, from a cerebral aspect, an NFL offense. But man this guy can run. – Merrill Hoge

What happened to the guys who just run good routes and play the position, huh? You know, Wes Welker, Steve Largent, THOSE kinda guys. – Colin Cowherd

Other Tidbits:

NCAA Division 1 champion in the 100m dash jump relay…..majored in Sociology…..Was a member of his high school drumline, but then realized you can’t get paid to play the drums, really….Left college early due to pending case, no further comments given….Once met rap artist Lil’ Wayne, said it changed his life.

Why This Is Bull:

Throughout the entire NFL Draft process and institution, there are two main positions, in my opinion, that no matter how they are spoken about are hilariously racist: Black quarterbacks and wide receivers. Often times, it’s completely unintentional (that’s why it’s funny) to see guys like Jon Gruden marvel at the “blazing speed” and “leaping” ability of college athletes at these positions. Even if these guys are technically outstanding at their positions, two recent examples being RG III and AJ Green, their speed and ‘God-given ability’ (shout-out Boobie Miles) override those skills. Nevermind the great footwork or route running because BOY THOSE GUYS FLY AROUND THE FIELD!

Legal trouble, family problems, and pretty much everything possible that’s not football related can get classified into a player having “off-the-field issues” and becoming a liability. When it shouldn’t. If he’s a nice guy that plays football better than other people, go ahead and draft him and help him become a professional. Don’t worry what’s on his iPod or whether he can jump high enough to do a 360 windmill on the goal post after he scores. Draft me if you want exotic dunk maneuvers.

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