Anonymous Scouting Report: Black Quarterback

17 Oct

Name:  DeMarcus Thompkins

Position:  Quarterback

College:  California (PA) University of Pennsylvania

Height:  6’1, 205 Pounds


Game-changing speed.  – Todd McShay

Reminiscent of a young Randall Cunningham mixed with pre-dogfighting Michael Vick.  – Mike Mayock

Could revolutionize the Quarterback position as we know it today.  Thompkins has lightning speed, can really throw it deep and can burn you with a read-option.  He’s not the most cerebral prospect in college football today, but boy is he an athlete. – Mel Kiper, Jr.

Have you seen this guy on the field?  He lit up small school competition and looked like a man playing amongst boys. – Stephen A. Smith

Thompkins went to a small-school after rejecting numerous scholarships from Pac-12 and SEC teams.  Actually he transferred from University of Maryland, but according to TMQ that means he’s a weasel player who is only looking to better himself.  I’m actually conflicted how I feel about him as I had to pay my way through college and Thompkins probably got a taxpayer handout.  Great speed though, will it adapt?  – Gregg Easterbrook


Character concerns, transferred from Maryland likely due to conflicts with coaching staff and his mouth which can be a huge concern.  – Bill Polian.

Comparing DeMarcus Thompkins to Drew Brees is like comparing Benson to Breaking Bad. – Rick Reilly

Gets disgruntled if he doesn’t have success which really rubs off scouts the wrong way.  When the defense gives up a TD, you never of course see him taking blame which proves that he can be selfish.  No way he plays in Massachusetts.  – Bill Simmons

Will he adapt to the pro game?  Probably not.  Ridiculously undersized and he should probably change positions since he looks like a kick returner/wide receiver/change-of-pack running back.  – Bill Cowher.

Is a fan of LOL Rocky or whatever his name is.  Kids like this ruin the sanctity of our game, our country and our neighborhoods.  – Colin Cowherd.

BLACK.  Reminds me of Shaun King who I benched for Brad Johnson who won a Super Bowl.  – Jon Gruden

Why does the media keep salivating over prospects like this?  Reminds me of RG III, Michael Vick, Randall Cunningham, Colin Kaepernick, Kordell Stewart, Vince Young and Rev from Remember the Titans.  Can’t put my finger on it though.  – Rush Limbaugh.

Other Tidbits:

Transferred from Maryland to Cal (PA) to care for his ailing grandmother….4.0 GPA and graduated in three years in environmental engineering and went back for his Masters which he should get within the next year….Rhodes Scholar nominee….Ran for a school record of 1,500 yards in a single season and threw for 28 TDs vs. 5 INTs for the Vulcans….Nominee for the Manning Award.

Why This Is Bull:

Of course this is an exaggeration but this turns into a societal issue as well.  Jimmy Clausen is a well-known tool (well, I mean he looks the part!) and it was talked about a bit.  However, the buzz words surrounding him was more “entitlement” as opposed to talking about legitimate character concerns.  Look at all the grief McNabb, Newton and RG III get when they “speak their minds” as opposed to Tom Brady who yells at his WRs and gets called “passionate”.

The reason the QB position hasn’t been revolutionized is not just because the NFL catches up and adapts to various playing styles but also because idiotic GMs and head coaches get greedy when something keeps working.  Plenty of “lightning quick” QBs get hurt not just because of them running the ball but due to the insistence of not changing the offense.  RG III is literally being thrown to the wolves as he continues to recover and McNabb played through all the injuries that Ben Roethlisberger has had.  Yet the stereotypes prevail.


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