Good news out of the NFL. Pop star Katy Perry (you may have heard of her) will be performing the Super Bowl Halftime show this February.
This is good news because it continues to prove, in my opinion, that the NFL is ready to embrace women again. Women and the NFL have a pretty complicated relationship lately, and that dates back to Janet Jackson’s “indecent exposure” (which I rated as “decent” but I guess the FCC is uncomfortable with non-white nudity unlike me who is kind of well-known amongst my friends as an equal rights warrior) about a decade ago.
Afterwards the NFL picked a variety of artists that proved they were the type of guys that likes to wear bands T-shirts (as long as they kept them on). We got to see Bruce Springsteen and the rural junior varsity equivalent of him (Tom Petty) which was short on time but high on American spirit (this was before we elected a Kenyan to the White House and enjoyed America for what it the founding fathers wanted).
Then to appease the British for going into Iraq with us (and to help support a future London franchise) we got Paul McCartney, the Rolling Stones and the Who; which ranked as boring, exciting and upsetting in that order. It was very smart of the NFL to tab the Who because it warned NFL players who were considering toughening it out through another year of concussions to hang it up before you ended up singing Baba O’Reilly and not knowing quite why.
Of course though the NFL, always looking to market to the younger demographic, chose Madonna which was about as close to royalty as America can get (unless the Commander-in-Chief named Barack Hussein Obama who will remain nameless) and then we got the Black Eyed Peas.
The Black Eyed Peas revolutionized the game of football as the NFL adopted Will.I.Am to be the new FOX robot. Roger Goodell also probably wished he would’ve just sang “Where Is The Love” when consulting with Ray Rice and his wife on how long he should be suspended. The Black Eyed Peas let Slash come on stage too which just in my opinion saved rock and put it into a medically induced coma until Gene Simmons called it dead. It propelled the Black Eyed Peas from a small, underground indie group into a group that shortly broke up afterwards.
Then there was Beyonce which inspired Thought Catalog to become a website afterwards.
The NFL last year had a stroke of genius by selecting Bruno Mars, the first ever house elf to perform at the Super Bowl (he wasn’t a distraction by the way which I know some people were worried about) and then for white fans uncomfortable with R&B; they picked the Red Hot Chili Peppers to act as a sort-of translator. This was a very intelligent and shrewd move on the NFL and proved that they genuinely care about their straight white male fans, something that they get accused of not doing enough for just my opinion.
But now Katy Perry which probably will have a million GIFs of her almost popping out of her shirt (I won’t be searching these just so you know, I mean why would I objectify someone like that I can’t believe you are implying that already #heforshe I guess doesn’t apply to men) and more missed notes than me in College Algebra (my mom just laughed) my sophomore year.
However, I’m pretty excited and not because of the reasons I stated above. I can’t possibly suggest that.