Your Major Sucks: Psychology

14 Oct

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A couple of years (or a year ago?) I started a series on why your major sucks and then I would just decide to tear it apart and make you hate me.  Then I stopped because I have the dedication and patience of Floyd Mayweather reading Fahrenheit 451 (has anyone on the internet made a joke about Mayweather’s illiteracy yet because I haven’t heard it yet) during Banned Book Week.

But I thought, well I’m doing nothing with my life but watching reruns of laugh track sitcoms and looking at jobs on Indeed that won’t hire me so might as well try to make myself laugh.  That’s the joke I make so people don’t feel bad when they read this and I can just reply with “haha, I don’t care if you don’t find it funny; I do!”.

Without much more else to say, here’s why psychology sucks.


Typical Psychology Major:  A person who was forced by their advisor to sign up for a major because they couldn’t still be undeclared or someone who is on their second of three majors.

What They’ll Say They Do:  “Uhh…well, uhh….I guess it would be cool to help people.  I’m not sure how long I’ll be in it though”

Their Future Profession (According To Them):  “Ugh, I think I will wait to figure that out later on.  I’d really really really like to do something with children….or adults….or drug addicts….or straight, white, male Republicans”

Their Likely Profession:  Getting the first job they get accepted at.  The minute they get that job offer, regardless if its behind a table or under a table; they are accepting that shit and getting the hell out of town.

Why Psychology Sucks:  Psychology is one of those majors that you need more than a Bachelor’s in to really get in the door.  It sounds like a noble major because well, you are helping people; but its really done so students can just say that they are doing something in college as they graduate with a 3.0 (like me) and convince their parents half-heartedly that they might get their Masters (they won’t) or just see “where this major takes them”.

Why Psychology Doesn’t Suck:  If you make it, you are doing a good thing.  The brain is complicated as fuck (which is ironic considering how simple so many of the students are, that’s a pretty good point I must admit) and you are going to be dealing with a wide array of people’s issues.  Oh wait, isn’t that psychiatry?  Is there a difference?  All I know about psych is Frasier Crane.

Typical Response To Why Their Major Sucks:  “Yeah, good point” :changes major to Business:


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