The Lifespan Of A Pop Song

6 Nov

To follow Satirical Thoughts, hit us up on Twitter (BACK TO TEN FOLLOWERS) and Facebook.  

Upon the release of 1989 by Taylor Swift, I see my timeline split in two.  One side, OH MY GOD!, the other side; “pshh, let me know when REAL music comes out”.

Both sides of this argument are horrifically annoying, but since all I do online is complain and beg for you to pay attention to me; I have no leg to stand on.  But nonetheless, as Shake It Off is officially about to be bumped off the radio for the next MegaSwift song; it’s time for a chart.

Well not a chart but my blog, my words.  If you don’t like it, hit the back button.

Here’s the lifespan of a pop song.

Release

The song is released with a front loaded, probably payola-aided release.  Usually radio stations do this bullshit where they go “let us know if you REALLY LIKE THIS NEW AMERICAN HI FI SONG” as if you have a choice of staving off the inevitable.  At this point, you will see friends on social media linking it and demanding you listen to it.

Surge

Now that everyone has heard it, radio really starts to pick up on it.  It takes like ten weeks apparently for a pop song to hit #1 which I find impossible but that’s the deal.  I have no facts to prove that, so you just are going to have to believe me on this one.  But now, even if you ignored the whole release party; you can somewhat sound out the melody.

On social media you will see statuses such as “just cleaned my room to Shake It Off!”.  You’ll hear it at parties and there will always be that weird mashup with an Iggy Azalea song that every college town bar plays.  I don’t know why that happens.

Viral

There will always be a viral lip sync to every popular song.  “HEY GET IT FRAT GUYS KNOW THE LYRICS TO LET IT GO!  ITS FUNNY BECAUSE ITS KIND OF NOT MASCULINE BUT THEY ARE MEN AND ARE REBUKING GENDER ROLES.”.  It’s always like….a D1 baseball or swimming team too.

Then Jimmy Fallon will dance to it on his show and do some weird bit with it that the Roots have to suffer through.

This is around the time the diehards start going “ugh this song is overplayed now!” and “I hate radio nowadays!” like radio is now all of a sudden overplaying songs.

Casual people like me start to appreciate this song at this point.

Weary

Everyone fucking hates everything about it.  This song is not played anymore.  No one references it anymore except people who are not up-to-date on things use it as “songs these days suck because there isn’t a guitar” or something.

Nostalgia

A few months later, and for the rest of your life, this song will be used in shitty segments like “THROWBACK JAMZ” and played when the alumni come down to college towns to relive the glory days; not like I ever do that.

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