The Best Alcohol To Drink On The Fourth of July

4 Jul

Happy Independence Day all!  I hope you are remaining blissfully unaware of the Merica centric statuses clogging your feed and people who think the whole “undefeated in World Wars” is somehow creative.

If you are like me, odds are you absolutely hammered right now.  I sure as hell am because :I have nothing clever to say here but just pretend I did:.  I’m also conducting a yard sale in which not a single person has driven by so I’m pretty aroused you could say.

Anyway like most holidays that we celebrate or crib from other nations (St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco de Mayo), what you drink says a lot about you.  You should be drinking not just go get drunk but to do it in the right way.  Fourth of July is perfect because it’s not really a holiday you celebrate with your family so it avoids fights and tears but also its not amateur hour (sup St. Paddy’s).

Without any more context, let’s cheers to beer and chug the right things.

Be A Cliché

I am violently anti-Budweiser.  Besides their lame ass attack on craft beers, which made us all look like Mumford and Sons bassists, it’s a trash beer.  It’s not fun like Keystone, it’s not annoying like Yuengling and not smooth like pilsners. It’s just colon based regurgitated ass water that sponsors American things.

However, it’s timeless like it or not.  If ther is one day to do this, it’s today.  Plus your parents probably like it, even if they don’t consider Dale Earnhardt to be a member of the holy trinity.

Stand Out

It is no secret I’m in love with Genesse Brewing Company.  I’m still convinced I haven’t died yet because of Genny Cream Ale’s majestic healing powers.  Still, like Budweiser, Genesse has rad patriotic cans and it’s probably cheaper, and better than Bud.  I’m from South Jersey so Genesse isn’t the most well known brewing company but it should be.  Plus you can still laugh at getting creamed instead of getting drunk cause I do.

Be Crafty

Yards has the Ales of the Revolution with tributes to Washington, Jefferson and Franklin (kinda the Crosby, Stills and Nash of the 1700s) and besides the Spruce Ale, all are awesomely drinkable.  If you want to go craft, that might be your best option.  Other ones I’m enjoying are the perfect summer beers that are the Hell or High Watermelon offered by 21st Amendment or the Purple Haze by Abita.  I know some hate fruity beers, but they do serve a purpose.

or just get drunk on whiskey at 11am.


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