Archive | February, 2016

Donald Trump Can Be President…And It’s Our Fault

26 Feb

Follow me on Twitter @TheJoekes

Holy shit was I wrong.

In case you just discovered this, I kind of see myself as a big-time election buff and I read my polls like they are….I’m going to stop this sentence because it makes me sound more pathetic.

Nonetheless, I love campaigns and all of that shit.  I started a political blog that actually got occasional views which was rad, but I pretty much burnt myself out.  I also wrote every blog post devoid of any personality, so that’s probably why no one read it besides those I demanded.

Still, this 2016 campaign has been amazing.  We saw George Pataki get bored and decide to pretend to run for President.  Rick Santorum came back for Round 2 and didn’t make it past Iowa, Rand Paul was still the preferred choice for your MCM and Bernie Sanders has effectively stolen the “woke white” voting bloc while also antagonizing All Lives Matter social media so I don’t know how to analyze that.

But of course the man at the front and center of the campaign has been known placenta flosser, Donald Trump.  Yeah the dude from the failed casinos and the Apprentice reality shows who once was a real estate magnate and now just lives off royalties and licensing his name.

The Trump phenomenon looked fake.  He was dominating the polls, when no one was giving a shit at the time and had no ground game whatsoever.  He said horrific shit, terrible rhetoric and literally has no idea how to enact a proposal.  His candidacy at the time was a joke.  It still is.

But god, was I wrong in saying he had no chance.  In fact, the man has to be considered the favorite for the Republican nomination which is a stain upon the fabric of our nation’s history.  Donald Trump is the candidate that is supported by the guy who thinks flipping off the camera in a Facebook photo equates someone as a “Thug”.  He’s the candidate that thrives off low-knowledge oxygen depleted folks who wear double-wide work boots.  He’s the disembodied small intestine of the missing link between neanderthal and homo sapien.

However, he is the favorite and we were so wrong.

But a forewarning to all of you guys.  You are being had.  Yes, I was wrong about his electoral success but anyone who follows any of this grotesque freak show has to realize how absurd his candidacy truly is.  His ideas are misinterpreted “common sense” that your Uncle spouts at the Thanksgiving table.  They are impractical and also fucking asinine.  That’s not “political correctness”, that’s literally true.  How is he going to convince people to bring jobs back to America?  How is he going to convince a country to pay and build an entire border wall?  How is he going to ban Muslims?  How come you think that if you ban guns, criminals will still get him but think there is no way for undocumented people to come INTO the country?  How is he going to find these people and send them to Central America or wherever the fuck he is going to take them?

You have no idea.  You support him in the same sense that you share posts with “I don’t care if I offend anyone” when no one is offended, they just don’t care what you think.  You are being conned by a man who practically makes his living off bankruptcy.  Gosh, I’m as liberal as you can get and I’d rather just for the sake of humanity to have Marco Rubio, the student manager of a D1 athletics team, be the President.  But not Ted Cruz.

America, we did this.  We gave a voice that has no loyalty, the ultimate one.  We got conned.  If you were against him, you ignored the overall simplicity of people.  If you supported him, you are supporting someone who just says things to get your vote and will abuse your simplified opinions to make a buck.

But he might not win, I can’t see this guy’s temper really lasting much longer (if Rubio wins just one or two of these Super Tuesday states, we might see an epic decline).  However one thing guaranteed.

We lost.


I Tried To Watch Game Of Thrones

22 Feb

In my life there are about fifteen people I put my trust to when it comes to pop culture.  90% of these people are from social media who I haven’t physically seen in like nearly a decade.

I genuinely love hating things.  The other day one of my very good friends got a promotion at their job and my first thought was “oh fuck them”.  I mean I really enjoy this person but since I’m selfish and self-loathing, I can’t help but think that their success is immediately knowing.  It’s also horrible because job alerts are the second-most popular things to post in terms of getting likes besides knowing someone who died.

Anyway, most of my trustworthy sources love HBO’s Game of Thrones and since I didn’t have HBO in college I missed the first few seasons and thought it wasn’t worth trying.  Until now, because I am single, live at home with my parents and realistically only have about three or four years left before I just give up.

So I thought why not?  I heard all the hype around it and there’s really nothing besides Better Call Saul in this post-Mad Men world of mine.

For those who are reading this even without watching it before, I guess I’ll say this might contain spoilers.  I don’t really know what happened but people lose their shit when they wait to “binge-watch” (typing that makes me cringe) a show and then get it spoiled.

Game of Thrones is actually based off books written by that guy who says “Die-a-beet-us” in those commercials.  HBO bought it and apparently started to deviate as the guy just hasn’t written any more books though he promises they will eventually come out.  Since people are inherently terrible, they are terrified he’s going to die before he writes the next novel.

I honestly don’t feel like going through a lengthy plot analysis for the show because it lost me so many times.  People gave me shit for Mad Men being boring, which might be a legitimate take, but they can follow the random plotlines of each family in this show?

There’s plenty of nudity, which would be rad if we didn’t have the internet, and oddly a lot of incest.  Like the whole thing is just sibling rape.  Or beheadings, and everyone is dressed like some Estonian metal band that Bam Margera would have promoted on Viva La Bam.  There was a disembowelment though, which is just something you don’t see very often so I get why my Pennsylvania friends dig this shit.

Obviously it’s the Middle Ages apparently, but everyone is a white British person and most are pretty attractive.  Most of the names seem like they are Oikos flavors and maybe I need to see a few more episodes before I can just pretend to have an idea about this show.