Stop Fucking Telling People You Are Annoyed To Be A Millennial

5 Jul

There’s a website called Twitter, and I have an account in which you can follow me @TheJoekes 

The point of this blog is basically for me to take a few minutes and be Mad Online by stupid shit I see floating around.  If you ever have wondered if I wrote something based off of something you did, it’s probably 100% accurate.

Being online is really just finding out which one of your friends you hate the most.  You see horrible political takes, shit conspiracy theories, awful opinions on hot button issues or horrendous spelling errors.  Usually all of those are related to a single post.

But there is one thing I talk about a lot.  The number sixty nine.

Another thing is this trend that continues to float around by people who I should’ve unfriended but I solely still stay in contact with just so I have more material.  In fact, a little op-ed in the New York Post came out recently about “I’m a millennial and my generation sucks”.

It’s the usually trash and shit opinions that people my age do to impress, I don’t know, their dead grandfather.  But its a constant.  Every generation hates the next, that’s only natural and totally normal.  However, the new little “man, why do we all suck nowadays?” argument by twentysomethings is probably worse than Zika.  Its just so fucking cringeworthy.

I would normally go through the article and tell you piece-by-piece why its shit, but I don’t even feel like it so I’ll show you guys the Gawker post on it.  It was almost as embarrassing as that one viral post that woman did about how the downfall of society is the word “bae”.

But instead, let’s just talk this out real quick.

No one is fucking impressed that you hate people your own age.  Really no one.  For people who hate participation trophies for some odd reason, it’s almost like they want one for their lukewarm take on life.  Old people fucking suck and their generations were way worse.  We learn in history class that basically all American history can be described as is one giant fuck-up.  Sure people wore cooler clothes, can’t deny that, but there is really nothing much better that happened during then.

Selfies are just fucking pictures of you.  It takes like half-a-second and yeah, I’d rather see a picture of people rather than some bullshit landscape of the beach.  I don’t get the anger over selfies.  Yeah a million of them are annoying but so are all of us in general.

If the worst thing about society is fucking smartphones and trophies, than we are by far the greatest generation that has ever existed.  It totally beats the problems that previous generations have had.

Let’s just get this straight though.  You are the problem.  You are a bag of dicks whose ranting about society trying to become equal (“why can’t I use racial/sexist/homophobic slurs anymore?) is the reason why we need things that you hate such as safe spaces.  Yes, you can have differing opinions because that’s what is good about this hellhole but if you genuinely are offended by progress, then you deserved to be raked over the coals.

Millenials suck in the same way we all do.  We are humans and we are all guaranteed to die.  But talking about how you are 26, but deep down feel, 46 doesn’t fucking mean shit.  Congrats you like Ron Swanson.

But let’s just check back on that awful article:

People like me are called “old souls,” or “26-going-on-76.”

No you are called virgins by not choice.

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