The Republican National Convention Is A Glorious Shitshow

19 Jul

There’s a website called Twitter, and I have an account in which you can follow me @TheJoekes 

My god, this is the greatest convention of all time.  I am liberal and give Republicans a bunch of shit, but man they know how to party.

Conventions are usually the worst as its a mixture of party diehards and establishment candidates (with a few handpicked “others” who make it through an arduous screening process) who are essentially tossing red meat into the lions den.  You won’t hear economic policies or foreign affairs because FUCK BORING ASS POWERPOINT :jerk off motion:.

However, this Donald Trump coronation has been a treat.  There really isn’t a better way to describe it than that.  Take away your political views, remember these conventions don’t mean anything long-term (surely the Berniebros will make it fun for the Democrats), and let’s just enjoy this recap of what’s gone down in Cleveland.

The greatest part about all of this?  Holy shit, they actually nominated Donald J. Trump as the official nominee.  There is no backing out of this now (unless he gets bored if his poll numbers were to tank) and of course it will stop getting funny if he really turns this boat around.

But let’s revel in this for the time being as this is just a glorious occasion.  We are also getting Dr. Ben Carson to wake up and get high on stage for a bit!

Again though, remember all that talk earlier in the year about how we were probably going to have a contested convention and all this chaos was going to occur?  Let’s stop propagating that impossible (but fun) scenario.  If Donald Trump, a guy who literally just says shit and makes fun of people’s dick size, can easily and comfortably be elected the nominee….anyone can.

A Donald Trump candidacy could very well be disastrous downticket for the GOP.  It could cause a mini exodus that could set the party back a cycle.  His unpopularity ratings are sky high, his party is keeping him at a firm’s arm length, and there really seems no way you can filter him.  He’s about as extreme of a candidate a major party can nominate.  He doesn’t even know what he believes in for fuck’s sake.

But he can win with really minimal resistance at best.  This was about as close to a contested convention in our lifetime (aka milennials #POKEMONGOBITCHES) and it was about as sterilized as one could be.  There were some rogue delegates who eventually didn’t do shit and lots of words were wasted on proposing this theory.

The Republican Party stoked the party flames after the election of Obama into unprecedented dominations of the 2010 and 2014 midterm election cycles.  If turnout is a bit lower, they fucking have the formula to do big things.  They anger their base so much that the left really can’t find any traction since they can dominate the airwaves.  The center just goes “meh” and moves on.

Enough about that.  Let’s fucking enjoy this clown car until we are forced to reap what we sow.

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