On Friends & Politics

7 Nov

In case you are someone who knows me, follow me on the Twitterical Explorer.

Hey guys,

Breaking news.

There’s an election tomorrow.  Yup, the big one.  I’m sure you are shocked to hear that such a big event has flown under-the-radar but alas, here we are.

Okay, I know that wasn’t funny because that looks like some shit Andy Borowitz said and he’s the worst thing in media.  However look, this is a big and polarizing topic that has torn friendships apart and probably had families questioning their love for one another.  There are two legitimate candidates (more on that later) and both have been in the public eye for a very long time and have said/done some questionable things to say the least.

But let’s talk about some things.  Because in a lot of cases, including those who are on my side, this is the first time any of you have paid any attention to the political world.  In a way that’s great.  Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton have either brought out passionate supporters or ardent detractors.  Yet you can’t say that’s not a good thing.  The more of us with passion, the better.

In another way, I will totally be a douchebag and say…yeah its amateur hour over here.  Between those whose only fashion accessories are the 2 for $20 Target graphic t-shirts of dead musicians and those with profile pictures of them fishing or with a glass of alcohol in semi-formal situations; its pretty cringe.  For those who know better, its all the more frustrating to see you all react over every single poll as some sort of finality.

Now, let’s get to the best part of this.  I genuinely do have something to say here, and this is not being my bizarre contrarian or wannabe motivator.  Here are some genuine facts.

1)-None of us really know shit

I am included, remember I was 100% convinced that Trump was just a flash in the pan and there was no way he was a serious candidate.  There was NO WAY this guy could have even won a state, right?

Way wrong.  I follow political races closely.  In fact, I’m excited to see who starts going to Iowa and New Hampshire in the run-up to the 2020 presidential election.  I spent four years writing a political blog, with only forty people reading it daily, out of true love.  I love this stuff.

But guess what, I’m dumb as shit too.  Think of this, if you have a high opinion of yourself, do you GENUINELY know who the main players are in Syria?  Do you really know the institutional processes of our criminal justice system?  Do you really have the tiniest idea of how people just can’t “move” to find better jobs if they are in a disenfranchised location?  Do you have the faintest idea how there’s just only so much you can tax, only so much you can fight Wall Street, only so much you can do to fight income inequality?

If you do, do you genuinely think your answers are the right ones?  We live online.  I can find you probably twenty legitimate seeming sources that will tell you one answer, and then twenty that disprove it.  Of course we all have bias and opinions.  But man, half of you all don’t even know your congressperson-do I trust your parsing of legislative and judicial law?

2)-There is no such thing as a perfect candidate….admit your bias

The WORST take in this election is the following:

Look, don’t get me wrong (my candidate) is not that perfect.  I admit (my candidate) has so many flaws but I just can’t let (other candidate) win.

That is so weak that I don’t care who you are, but it just perpetuates bullshit.  Here is my point….you are either one side or the other.  This year should’ve taught you that.  Could you have genuinely seen yourself voting for Ted Cruz over Hillary?  Or Bernie over Trump?  Could you realistically look at all twenty plus candidates that ran on both sides and think that?  Look at their records, and that includes John Kasich’s union killing methods and Jim Webb’s safe Democratic vote.

Now if you do, congratulations you are a true independent voter.  But if not, drop the pretense that you are some independent voter that goes above party politics to pick the best choice for the country.

Barack Obama, who is starting to see an approval rating bump, ran as a fairly liberal counterpart to Hillary Clinton’s centrism.  Yet (and I love the guy to death) his major achievements are a healthcare bill that’s corporatist/neoliberal at best and only embraced marriage equality when it was politically right.  George W. Bush, a conservative, did more to inflate the national debt more than anyone.

Which leads me to

3)-Politics is a game of inches

Neither candidate will get what they want unless they go all executive action on your ass.  Now, of course I’m of the belief that Trump being in charge of the nuclear football is terrifying in itself, but really what you are voting for is a message.

No legislation gets passed.  It has nothing to do with parties but power.  If you know you are the most liberal Republican or most conservative Democrat in the Senate, you can let them woo you so much that you can water down any bill.

There’s been plenty of politicians who promise comprehensive change but our system renders that impossible.  You are voting for a message that will be held to the fire for four years and probably longer.  This is your protest.  Embrace it.  You will likely not live long enough to see your desired wish of legislation enacted.  But you might be able to brag you lived long enough to start it.

4)-Third Parties Are Bullshit

C’mon, we have two deeply unpopular candidates and Gary Johnson’s clueless Muppet ass can’t even be taken seriously.  I think the more candidates the better, but let’s admit….we are a two-party system and unless you are MEGA BILLIONAIRE OVERLORD, you are not a real candidate.

5)-Maybe They Aren’t Your Friends

With social media on the rise, and everyone being able to freely float their opinions into the vast empty sphere of the internet, has made us see each other differently.  I for one, embrace it.  Hell, there’s a 90% chance Fall Out Boy makes the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame….we already suck and there’s no turning back.

Now, it’s time to really look at who your friends are.  Were you friends because of convenience—maybe you just were on the same team, job, or class and got along because you had to spend so much time together?  Were you friends because you can honestly say regardless of the occasion, you would find each other?

If you see yourself deleting multiple friends, consider why.  Are their opinions truly that dreadful (and yes, some are god awful) where you are willing to throw it away?  Cause fuck it, I wonder that all the time when you post Walking Dead bullshit like its some good show.  But usually, I come around.

However, don’t congratulate yourself for deleting shitty people.  That should be a given that we all do.

Now, if you find yourself getting questioned….take a step back and wonder why.  Am I that awful?  Am I saying things that, when seen under a different light, look downright repulsive?

Again, I’ve thrown my opinions out ever since I had social media.  I’ve been boisterous, I’ve been a douche, I’ve been compassionate, I’ve been it all.  But maybe we should alter what we say, not because HURRDURR IM A VIRGIN BUT ALSO I HATE PC POLICE but maybe we shouldn’t be shitty.

I have no doubts why I’ve fallen out with certain people.  They think I suck, I think they do.  In some cases, I’m genuinely bewildered; in other cases, I totally get it.

6)-New Jersey residents, Vote No On Question 1



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