Another Christmas Goes By

25 Dec

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I like to look back and reflect upon the year around Christmastime.  To me, nothing represents togetherness and finality than the yuletide season.

Each year, and maybe its because I’m at the age I am where things are still changing, always feels more like a transition you know?  It doesn’t feel like “NEW YEAR, NEW ME” but more like “new year, oh that’s another thing I have to do now”.   I wish I could tell you 2016 was a great year.  I wish I could also tell you it was a bad year.  That would at least represent a way to define it.

Tragedies were high this year.  Saying a permanent goodbye to a close friend was something you never prepare for and each day it still pops into my head.  You realize how small the world can be and how insignificant your problems can feel.  Its a feeling that you can not put into words but through expressive emotions that are understanding but impossible to translate.

To get away from that, money is horrendously tight and I have a car to fix, a computer to repair and bills that I’m way behind on.  I have a pet that is getting high up in age and it looks like its starting to show.  I have friends who are moving on in life and its only a matter of time before I join them.

However…..tragedy makes you realize that all facets of life will occur whether you like it or not.  At the end of the day, you have to appreciate what you have because all it takes is one text or news update for everything to be thrown into disarray.  Appreciate the job you have, even if its a shitty retail one like the one I possess part-time, because someone else is struggling even more.

I’ve never been good at living in the moment because I fear the future and resent or relive the past.  But, taking things day-by-day is something that I have been able to intertwine in my regular life.

I usually make these posts long and reflective, but all I really can do is look at who I am right now…and appreciate all I have around me.  2017 may be worse.  It may end up being the best.  This year, I was able to repair a few friendships and ended up finding confidants in ways I couldn’t imagine.  I learned who I should appreciate more often.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa and a Happy Holidays to all of you.

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